Festive Anxiety

Okay so this post isn't even remotely topical - but with the absolute storm that has been this year I feel its relevant  - I'm also hoping that there are some other rare birds out there that feel the same way as me.

Christmas Eve. Christmas Day. Boxing Day. New Years Eve. New Years Day - it's all a bit of a blur, and an anti-climatic one at that. Don't get me wrong, I am spoilt rotten every Christmas, promptly pissed by about 11am and my Mum makes a killer Christmas dinner -  but for years there has been a niggling feeling that it's time to do something different.

I have always experienced a very weird, claustrophobic and anxious feeling on the build up to a New Year - and by the time I get collared in the kitchen and dragged into a rowdy, mismatched and out of time chorus to 'Auld Lang Syne' (Why do we even sing that?) I almost want to run for cover. So in 2014 - I was adamant to ignore the fact that it was New Years Eve and spent the night holed up with my very compliant boyfriend watching Sons of Anarchy and eating crap. I had no regrets - until now; now I'm convinced that turning your face away from Big Ben chiming you into the New Year is cursed - and so I'm in a limbo between having outgrown awkward family parties and being far too financially crippled to go out to a swanky soiree and sip on champagne whilst nibbling on microscopic sized canapes. I've grown weary of watching the firework displays from an LCD screen- I want to be somewhere amazing and breathtaking that truly makes you feel like the next year of your life could be something special.

I long for a BBQ on the beach with beers followed by an afternoon surf in Australia on Christmas Day - or perhaps a day of skiing amongst the clouds followed by hot chocolate and 'Home Alone' all tucked up in a log cabin in Meribel, but then ask me about New Years Eve and I'm stumped! I have never felt as though I'm in the right place on New Years Eve - where does everyone go? Is there some secret club or venue that gives out free cocktails and grants your resolutions? I guess it's one of life's big cliches - I want to be at the epicenter of it, where attractive people are laughing and dancing and drinking; not particularly in a crowded living room that's still littered with wrapping paper and Christmas crackers where your drunken Uncle manages to offend your Aunty's Christmas Jumper so badly that they don't speak for another year.

Where do you go on New Years Eve? What did you do on the New Years Eve that turned out to be your best year yet? Although I am a huge believer in fate - I cant help but keep the phrase 'start as you mean to go on' in mind as I try to think of a plan for the dreaded night. With many other aspects of my life, I feel it has to be all or nothing - either I'm going to be throwing myself into the spirit, wearing '2016' glasses and singing a rousing chorus of Auld Lang Syne whilst kissing strangers on the chiming of a new day or I'm hoping to be watching fireworks from a midnight picnic with friends, delirious, happy and full of hope.

Any hints, tips and tricks to avoid a catastrophic 2016 would be welcome!