(Disclaimer - I'm sorry, this isn't a post about the American Indie rock band. Just me being clever with my words.)
So, this is probably going to be a controversial one.
*Taking a deep breath*
Firstly, this is NOT an attack on people who take drugs - but merely me being me and pondering.... why do people feel the need?
I'm not a hardcore raver who drops acid and pops half a pill just to go to the supermarket, but I also can't claim to be all virginal when it comes to drugs, I've tried some things and liked them, but I've also succumbed to peer pressure (at a FAMILY WEDDING), tried cocaine, and decided it really didn't do anything for me. Sure, the disco lights looked pretty, but the numbness at the centre of my face and the constant urge to wipe my nose kind of took the glamour away from the experience. (Not to mention the irrational fear of dying).
I love my friends for who they are, and so I can't help but feel disconnected from them when they are completely off their faces, and that's what has shaped my opinion of drugs - if you're great without them, why do you need them? Is the music not good enough to send you into euphoria without a little help? Is the company that bad that you need to escape reality? Are you that bored?
I'm a real person, I like real talk, I like real experiences, I like feeling healthy and alive, I do things like extreme sports and well, I don't know, walking through a graveyard at 12pm to give me a thrill. (I'm super exciting, right?) Bottom line is - I feel alive and amazing when I'm having a good time, and I don't feel like I need anything to change that.
Above all, it's the man-made, fucked up aspect of drug taking I can't handle. I just don't understand why people want to poison their bodies with things that contain ingredients that they probably don't even know exist, let alone are able to pronounce. You can't tell me you know exactly what's in that pill, and you can't tell me your dealer cares about you because - surprise - he's just in it for the money, he couldn't care less if you're choking on your own tongue by 2am. That's what drugs are - a money making scheme for the heartless people at the top.
Like I said, I can't get on my high horse and trot off into moral-ville here because I like to smoke weed, I'm a neurotic stress head trying to break out of the rat race and embrace my inner hippie. So I'm not about to grow dreads and rock a pyschedelic t-shirt that says 'Don't panic, it's organic' but I love the idea of taking something natural, that calms by body and mind down - and maybe I'm polar opposite to pill takers - maybe they are constantly too chilled out and need something to stress them out??
It's also the deaths I can't shake off. I've only heard of one death (in the UK) from marijuana. But the horror stories you hear of fresher's and students fucking themselves up and a particularly nasty one that I read whilst studying law where a couple take LSD and then the boyfriend kills his girlfriend by ramming the bedsheets down her throat, convinced she was satan. There's nothing quite like a romantic night in with M&S food followed by LSD, right?
When you watch someone wither away and die a slow and painful death, it makes you angry. Which can go either way I guess, it can make you hate the world and everything it stands for and go on a lifelong bender, or it can make you stronger, wiser and give you a next-level insight into life. I look at these people taking Christ knows what and I can't help but think of other teenagers, lying in hospital beds, with terminal cancer, amputated limbs or brain tumors and I think to myself, 'what some people would do to have your health, and here you are taking a royal shit on it.'
Maybe I'm just boring, or uneducated, or hey, maybe I'm missing out.
But when I die, I want to be old, experienced, wrinkly as hell, happy and remotely healthy with a life of amazing experiences that I can remember for what they were, not some drug fuelled illusion of what I thought life was like. I also don't want to die leaving my family behind - leaving my friends to watch over me as my body convulses, my eyes roll back, a mixture of vomit and spit being the last things to leave my mouth, all on the floor of some shitty nightclub or urine soaked street. Like I said, this is not an attack on people who take drugs, and most people who take pills, cocaine and whatever random horse-tranquiliser hybrids are out there, will (most likely) see another day, or grow out of their silly little drug phases and look back with a grin on their face.
But it's just not for me, I'm all about people who don't need that shit, people who are crazy and creative and positive enough without it, people who are high on life (yes, even I cringed writing that) and people who refuse to be slaves to the mass produced substances that everybody takes to convince themselves that they are interesting, or that they're experiencing something that no one else is. I'm starting to think that the most rare experiences are the ones that are completely raw, unedited, and untouched.
The world is amazing, the landscapes, the beaches, the chaotic cities, the smouldering heat and humidity of the southern hemisphere, the icy breeze that bites your skin on a mountain in the Alps, a sunrise at 5am that's putting all sorts of colours on display just for you, the sight of a wild animal relaxed in its natural habitat .....
that smile from a stranger that makes your day easier, the guy in the parking lot who gives you his ticket that still has 2 hours on it, the feeling of kissing the person you love, the strength you feel when you hold the hand of a sibling, the joy of seeing an old friend.....
surely isn't all of this intoxicating enough?
