If not YOU - then who?

'If not us, then who? If not now, then when?'

The above quote is my mantra. I am not actually 100% sure who said it - although a quick Google search tells me it was either John Lewis or Emma Watson, who are both equally as genius so I'll take it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am wildly impatient and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve the goals I set myself - whether that is to get a law degree (stupid goal) or to make sure the love of my life doesn't get away because I was already in a relationship. - The decisions we make are not always easy, but our own happiness should be the basis of them. My point is, we should be impatient, and we should make difficult decisions - because no one is going to make them for us and no one is going to pull out the golden staircase to our dreams. I want to be a writer because it's my passion, it makes me happy, and enough people have told me I am half decent at it so I know I stand a chance of making a living out of it. My parents and several of my friends don't take me seriously when I say I would be happy just getting by if it meant I could be a writer - I don't expect a huge movie deal within 12 months of me publishing my first book, I don't expect to be living in my Malibu beach home penning the next worldwide bestseller by the time I'm 30 - but I will sure as hell work towards it.

When I was younger, if I wanted something, I relentlessly pestered my parents until I had it. Although it probably drove my parents to believe that I was Satans spawn, it has instilled in me a self-motivated work ethic and the belief that you can get anything you want if you want and work hard enough. Take my van plan, for example, before Christmas I was printing out pictures, making mood boards and dreaming of the day I could call one my own, in reality thinking that it would be a few years, but nevertheless keeping at it - and look at me now, just a few more months and my van will be ready for her adventures next summer. I got it because I WANTED IT and because I WORKED FOR IT, not because someone handed it to me. Don't get me wrong, if I happened to bump into John Grisham at tesco (unlikely I know) and did him a favour which he offered to return, I would use that to further my writing career (not talking sexual favours here) because I believe that if you positively believe and try to achieve your dreams, you will attract opportunities that help you do this.

I was working at the restaurant a few weeks ago, and was laughing and chatting to a particular group of customers who then asked me what I was up to. I told them I had just finished law school but had been put off that area due to a disheartening talk on why being a barrister is a bad idea in the modern world. One of the women on the table instantly grabbed my hand and told me all about the fact that she had studied law with dreams of becoming a barrister but had given it all up to become a full time housewife and mother to her children. She revealed to me that she 'lost herself' in this process and, despite having several glasses of wine, gave me one of the most inspirational speeches I have ever recieved from anyone - albeit loaded with expletives. She urged me to follow my dreams, regardless of what anyone says or does to put me off track, and with every inch of my being I told her thank you, And that that is my plan.

Maybe I'm too much of a dreamer, too idealistic and maybe I romanticise everything - but I am determined to be happy - and when I am the age of the lovely Debbie mentioned above, I won't feel like I 'lost myself' in some rat race process or by having children who then define me, I will urge people to follow their dreams also, because it gave me more happiness in my lifetime than imagineable, like it has already.

If I were to die tomorrow, I would be pleased at what I have achieved so far. Despite the mistake of choosing law school, what other 20-year old can say that they studied law in 2 years and converted a van into a camper with their dad? And travelled to south east Asia with one of the best people on the planet, and had already spent 3 amazing years with the love of their life? There are plenty more dreams inside me, don't get me wrong, but I already feel blessed to have had so many of them come true.

If you were to die tomorrow - could you say the same?